Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

  • Mood:

How can wisdom be found?

Struggling this morning. Sometimes I want to rail against my own convictions, to be like Solomon and try everything I desire under the sun.

Glad I'm up early at least. Read about David and Saul: confusing stories of a complicated war, not unlike today's Israel and Palestine. My desire to understand everything needs to be less than my acknowledgment of God's sovereignty over it all. Admitting my opinions don't really matter is both humbling and countercultural, especially with the value I place on intelligence. It's a different thing than putting my head in the sand or looking the other way-- trust instead of ignorance, faith instead of fear.

That's all only barely in my mind, mind you. It's just easier to write about. I feel small and insignificant on the battlefield of my own heart, and losing so often looks so much better than winning. Besides, I'm tired.

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