The Banzai Chronicles

My senses aren't fully awake: hearing dulled and vision unclear. I do not want this day, yet it is left at my doorstep like an abandoned infant, and I've no choice but to do something with it.

My lower back is in pain, a pulled muscle or somesuch. It is like me: stiff and reluctant to move, groaning regardless of whether it is coaxed or forced into motion. Yet, like me, it must move, and keep moving.

When will I learn the secret?