?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Arch

The incomplete man

Pardon my snit, but sometimes I'm sick of Christian men's books (I was going to use the word "literature," but I just felt myself getting sicker) having so much of their focus on marriage and parenting. My resistance is largely self-centered: I'm almost 32 and still single, so I come away with the impression that the life I'm living is somehow inadequate, that I'm not fulfilling my destiny as a Christian man. And whether that's my lens or the author's, it's garbage. And whether it's self-centered or not, I get sick of it.

The Christian men's movement (Promise Keepers, etc.) comes off the same way to me at times, and though I've been richly blessed by some of it, this aspect just makes me more and more tired as I get older. I can't say with certainty that I believe anything needs to change; millions of people are fed by this application of God's word to their lives. I, however, am simply fed up.

(And trust me, my limited reading of books for Christian "singles"-- I hate that: "singles" and "marrieds"-- is no help at all.)

Thankfully, there are a million other things I can read. I'm just glad I didn't buy the book that set me off today.

Comments

I understand how you feel. I get the same way; the Bible is chock full of examples of people who chose to remain single. Not only that, it says "be fruitful and multiply," not "be fruitful and multiply RIGHT NOW OR ELSE!!!"

I get very offended by the point of view that not choosing to get married or choosing not to have children is a selfish, un-Christian way to live your life.
the strange sub-cultures of so-called Christianity (and their publications) really bug me sometimes too - even I, the seemingly "perfect christian girl" (which I never claimed to be!!!!). Gah. those books seem like brainwashing sometimes. :-P ick.
I'm 40 and looking into the abyss, so to speak. A lot of people used to tell me that Promise Keepers would do me a lot of good, forgetting my status. I just figured I'd made God one promise and hadn't kept it very well. I will enlist him when I contemplate another. I don't resent anyone's happiness and fulfillment in families, but so many of us are neglected. I've rarely met healthy Christians who are meant to be single. It really takes a lot of trust within us, and more awareness within the Church. The Church must quit highlighting our second-class status within her. Would Jesus have an adequate group within the Church? Probably not. He wasn't middle-class, wasn't married at 30+, and had lots of friends outside of the believers' ghetto.

Artists aren't very welcome in churches either.
hrm. well, i came here mostly just to post with a black and white icon, but that seems kinda silly considering the subject at hand.

but since i don't have much to say, i'll just offer a nice big *nod* to all that's been said here.

:)
I don't think this is actually black and white, but it's the closest I could find.

Personally I prefer men who are unmarried, and not because of their "availability." I think God prefers them more, too. More time to do His work.

The thing I notice about books for Christian men is that either they are about marriage and such *or* they are about controlling sexual urges. Whatever! We all have better things to concern ourselves with, or at least it's not the only sin *I* deal with.

Books for women aren't much better. Lots of them out there for being patient and preparing yourself for the man God has for you. I find the older books aren't like that as much.... popular Christian writing has just become pretty fluffy in some areas.

Just my opinion.

*smile*
I need a book for married men that discusses controlling sexual urges.
I don't have too much to say, but I did want to show off my icon.
I've never been to a Promise Keepers meeting. Nor have I ever read any Promise Keeper literature.

I'd be willing to bet the same can be said for Willie Nelson.

Most all of the focus of the modern american variety of the faith is placed on marriage and parenting for everyone though, no? The image of the predictable, solid family unit as being a primary aspect of the church. There's a certain interesting sociology in that. :)

('Kay, I admit it. I too showed up just to post with one of my black and white icons. ;)
It's a great icon too!

Well, I've noticed this as well, and I have a black and white icon.
Promise Keepers upset me for many reasons anyway- they seem harmless, but I don't want my husband coming home telling me he's got to take more control over the family, even if he's crying and getting in touch with his feelings while he's doing it.
I have enough trouble keeping control over myself much less my family.

Most evangelical Christian "movements" give me the willies anyway. They seem to be so much the big fad.

I'd rather go beat drums in the woods with Robert Bly.
YAY for at least not having paid money to be pissed off!!!
There's nothing worse than paying to get pissed off.

Whenever I see Promise Keepers meetings on TV or whatnot, they always look really, really creepy. It looks like a massive AA meeting held in a stadium with a bunch of neurotic brainwashed men trying to look sincere. I bet they tell their wives they're going out to have a beer.
Or maybe I'm just really cynical.

[And I did come here just to show off my B&Ws! :)]
When I first saw this "post if you have a b&w icon," I wished I had one. Then I remembered my default icon. Kinda funny if you think about it.

I'm thinking that there may not be many Christian books for singles out there, because not many single Christians are writing books. Maybe you should write one? There's obviously a market for it (says the single Christian).

in the words of michael jackson

"it don't matter if your (icon's) black and white" ....
(ignore me, I just wanted to pretend like I belong here with my black and white icon..)