Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

Quo vadis?

Sent dear friends off to Spain for a couple of years at least, after sending others off to Nashville and Cleveland within the past few weeks. We're excited for all of them and their new adventures ahead, and in many ways, we've accepted that farewells are part of the deal with our friendships in Seattle. Even so, we have the bittersweet sadness of that "left behind" feeing tugging at our hearts. Hopefully it will serve as a reminder to pray for our absent friends while cherishing and investing in those who are present.

Seeing friends off to new adventures also plays with some of the quo vadis questions that seem to be haunting me over the past few months. Other than being faithful (an endeavor at which I regularly fail), I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be going or even what I'm supposed to be. I'm going a lot of places to try to get it sorted, but no epiphanies have yet been in evidence. Indeed, there's no reason to assume there's anything to be revealed beyond "be faithful"—it is task enough, and meaning enough when paired with trust in God's sovereignty, goodness, and love. There are days when I embrace that and others where such trust seems far from me. Sometimes I'd like to be able to trust in who I have been created to be, and that's simply not a trust I'm finding. Perhaps that's a grace.
Tags: faith, friends, struggle, via ljapp

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