Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

  • Mood:

Perspective, like a breeze

Beautiful day—taking in some fresh air with a beer on the patio. Too often, I don't stop or slow down enough to get perspective. Even my laziness is too wired and distracted. But now there's a nice breeze blowing, and even the clamor of everyone commuting home is somehow comforting.

(Lots of people running. Why do they do that?)

Feel like I've been acting as my own counselor this week, asking why things get me bent out of shape that seem like they could be taken in stride. A few insights here and there, but most valuable perhaps is the simple discipline of questioning myself. Culturally, we're pretty comfortable questioning everything/one else at all times (often to our detriment and theirs), but we don't call our own responses into question nearly enough. At least I haven't been, resulting in a backlog of wacky knee-jerk crap that immediately gets a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot response when I stop for a moment and consider what I'm thinking, feeling, and doing. Time to get a grip.

The dandelions and I have been at war again this spring. Managing myself is a lot like that. It's never quite finished, but it's worth doing (it's work God's called me to, after all), and there are consequences for just letting things run wild.
Tags: discipline, life, struggle
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