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Kill your television killer

Getting a huge kick out of a recent article in The Stranger cataloguing "the different kinds of people that there are." Here's my favorite so far:
People Who Don't Watch TV

Symbolically not doing something for the sake of not doing it is almost never evidence of sophistication. It is evidence of not knowing what you're f&^*ing talking about. Are we really still having this conversation? Television is a part of the cultural landscape at this point—a lot of it is good. A lot of it is bad, some of which is also good. You know, LIKE ALL THINGS MADE BY HUMANS? Obviously it is also a good idea to go outside once in a while. But the presence of a television in your home does not make that decision for you. You make it. Feel free to still go outside at any time.
"No television" as moral stance is about as lame as jumping on the clown-hating bandwagon (also referenced in the article).


People Who Secretly Have Vast Family Fortunes/Trust Funds to Keep Them from Ever Knowing Complete Destitution, or Even Mild Hardship

Just do something interesting with it. You already won. Don't be a douche.
The clown one: I am simultaneously laughing and pumping my fist in the air. YES.
I can't read anymore right now. I'm crying. I only have two minutes until I have to leave. Must save it for when I come home and have time to truly devote to this gold.