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Ruth

Ruth said, "Don't entreat me to leave you, and to return from following after you, for where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God; where you die, will I die, and there will I be buried: Yahweh do so to me, and more also, if anything but death part you and me."
-Ruth 1:16-17


Now that's just beautiful. I want a friend like that.

Neck is feeling no better, so this is the obligatory whining. It's rainy and good to be up early. I was such a vegetable last night (a carrot, perhaps). Need more discipline in my life. It's a dangerous thing to acknowledge the need for discipline or humility. I need both-- Lord, have mercy.

I never trust when people say nice things, especially at work. Usually I think it's "trying to be nice," or rather, trying to have others believe one is nice. I'm not innocent by any means-- that's probably why I'm suspicious. I've done it over and over, to make myself feel good and to get what I want. My experience with niceness from others involves manipulation far more than it does affection.

I guess that's why I find the passage from Ruth so beautiful, like the friendship of David and Jonathan. Makes my heart ache for something like that. Hard to get when I tend not to believe I could really have it.

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I'm not sure what I need; it is good to know you are here.