Have I been a wilderness to Israel,
or a land of thick darkness?
Why then do my people say, ‘We are free,
we will come no more to you’?"
I'm baffled by my own rebellion. God's been so amazingly good to me, saved me from so much, and brought me into such abundance, and yet I still try to dodge Him and consider myself free when I run from Him. Clearly, I'm not alone. How does God deal with having His heart broken again and again?
Perhaps trying to understand it is eventually fruitless—understanding isn't always the magic key to truth. Sometimes it's just a way to try to bring the truth under my control. Regardless, my rebellion is a fact whether I'm baffled by it or not, and it needs to be brought before God even when I can't explain it. Explanations are often escape hatches anyway, and I'm tired of trying to escape all the time.