Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

  • Mood:

Forced and futile

Been sitting here for some time puzzling how to put words to my tiredness. Not really getting any farther, so I'm just throwing it out there.

Whether it's good stuff, bad stuff, family stuff, or friend stuff, nearly everything social or relational feels forced on some level. There's not much that just works. Of course, that's simply the way of things, particularly under The Curse. But whether I've any right to expect or hope for anything different, the effort just has me tired. Like anyone else, I suppose, I don't like the feeling of pouring myself down the drain for no clear reason—if it's futile, I'd rather not bother.

The gospel says something else is true, about both relationships and struggle. Sometimes it's just not an easy thing for me to believe.
Tags: family, friends, relationships, struggle, the gospel

  • Losses and messes

    Hasn't been the easiest past couple of weeks. Nothing awful in the scheme of things; just a steady stream of losses and messes, departures and FUBAR…

  • Domestic bliss

    Nice to have a weekend that feels like a weekend for both of us. barlow_girl has been working like mad until the end of this week on a…

  • "Keeping up"

    Yesterday was crazy full of appointments and bus rides in between, so I'm thankful to have the decks mostly clear for today. "Keeping up" is a…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment