Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

  • Mood:

Forced and futile

Been sitting here for some time puzzling how to put words to my tiredness. Not really getting any farther, so I'm just throwing it out there.

Whether it's good stuff, bad stuff, family stuff, or friend stuff, nearly everything social or relational feels forced on some level. There's not much that just works. Of course, that's simply the way of things, particularly under The Curse. But whether I've any right to expect or hope for anything different, the effort just has me tired. Like anyone else, I suppose, I don't like the feeling of pouring myself down the drain for no clear reason—if it's futile, I'd rather not bother.

The gospel says something else is true, about both relationships and struggle. Sometimes it's just not an easy thing for me to believe.
Tags: family, friends, relationships, struggle, the gospel

  • The analog ideal and the digital real

    There’s an underlying issue that’s been bugging me on the digital vs. analog stuff I’ve seen off and on for some time. So on Facebook, I tried to lay…

  • Being the limiting resource in the rushing stream

    Last weekend was our church's annual Men's Retreat, with the theme of "Living Intentionally." Though I was only able to attend a portion of the time…

  • Losses and messes

    Hasn't been the easiest past couple of weeks. Nothing awful in the scheme of things; just a steady stream of losses and messes, departures and FUBAR…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment