Log in

No account? Create an account
Irwin's logo

Getting up to speed

Seattle's weather has been gorgeous, I've mostly been "in the zone" staying on top of life and work, and I'm continuing to love being married to barlow_girl. At risk of redundancy, life is sweet.

Amy's been working like crazy with quarter-end stuff, so that adds a bit of stress and gobbles up large chunks of the calendar (she's working today and tomorrow). I'm still continually impressed with how she handles that and all the other crap that's been thrown her way recently. We've both been adjusting to living together, too, but there's comfort in realizing that most if not all of what's been stretching us on that front is simple roommate stuff—while that's an important component of a healthy marriage, it's a pretty limited measure for same. Perspective helps.

My own return to work this week went very smoothly, particularly with the addition of Annette to our staff. Her presence is a blessing on so many fronts—it feels right. The Haralsons hosted a welcome party for her last night, and while social events sometimes aren't my thing, this was well worth celebrating.

Caught up on Lost yesterday, and hoping to get up to speed on Heroes today (I'm three episodes behind). Being behind on those shows makes the internet and LiveJournal tricky to navigate spoiler-free. And honestly, I'm behind on almost everything I watch, but that's the joy of TiVo in a busy life—no hurry, no worry.


This is encouraging, what you've said about adjusting to living in the same space. If "love covers a multitude of sins," then it certainly will help to work through the nitty-gritty bits of settling down into married life.

At what point in your relationship did you have sense that Amy might be the one for you? How did this knowledge actually affect the relationship? Was the moving to Seattle part scary for her?
  1. Good question—this was one of the first questions our pastor asked in our premarital counseling. The realization was gradual and cumulative for me. I'm sure it works differently for everyone, and probably varies from relationship to relationship as well.

    Another bit about this: I think "the one for me," from my limited, human perspective, translates to "the one I've prayerfully chosen to marry." My sensibilities are largely pretty Reformed, so predestination doesn't make me skittish at all. But I've seen so much bad theology dished out, particularly toward (and all too often, from) single people, about "The One" (as in, "The One God definitely, certainly has for you to marry even though He never promised anything of the sort") that I shy away from it a little even in a retrospective sense.

    "The One" of the latter sense is a romantic, insidious, and too largely accepted way of putting words in God's mouth. As far as I know, He doesn't promise "The One" to anyone, but that angle on the concept commits Him to it anyway. Putting God's name on a promise He didn't make is, in my opinion, perhaps the truest sense of "taking the Lord's name in vain"—in so doing, we commit His Name to something that is not His Word. That's far more damaging than saying, "Oh my God," yet Christians are entirely too comfortable with it. I see it all the time, even here on LiveJournal, and it just makes me want to shake people until they wake up and think about what they're saying and whether it's actually true or some flowery fantasy they've shoehorned God into. It can also make other people seem like ways for God to "fill in the blanks" of our lives—players in our stories rather than full human beings with all the dignity God's given them. Needless to say, I hate it, a lot.

    (I know you didn't really use it in that sense at all, but it just comes to mind under this topic, and until the bad theology wanes from popular Christian culture and Rebecca St. James issues a retraction, I'll soapbox about it whenever there's a chance I might be misinterpreted. So most of this comment is for anyone else who might read.)

    Ultimately, I don't think it diminishes God's sovereign will in the least for me to understand that Amy is "the one I've prayerfully chosen to marry." In fact, I believe it reflects and glorifies it. Whatever else we may understand about the God of the Bible, He is, without question, a God who chooses. As those bearing His image, there is dignity in our choosing as well—not to the exclusion of prayer and waiting on Him, but in the context of it.

  2. We were fairly up front from very early in our romantic relationship that we were prayerfully seeking to make that choice together. The more I realized, the more I moved forward.

  3. I can't speak for Amy, but just based on my usual principles, I normally wouldn't advise a woman to move without a ring on her finger. Her circumstances, however, were so very providential (within the major corporation she worked for, changes took place that eliminated the need for only her and her boss' jobs) that she decided, with prayer and counsel, to take the risk. God also used that to recalibrate my view of Him—He doesn't have to act in accordance with my principles, even if they seem wise, and sometimes He's just going to do what He does and I'm not going to be able to do anything but receive from Him or run from Him. In that respect, her moving was a risk for me, too—not just for our relationship, but a risk taken on my view of God.

    It probably had to be scary for her, though, and that was the other part of both of our risk on God. I would have been more comfortable taking on the scary part than having her do it—I think in many respects, men were created to do that. But I really had to trust Him to let her take it on instead.
Hi. I have missed the both of you on this thing a lot.

I will (as usual) add this post into my memories because of this response. I liked this part the most:

Putting God's name on a promise He didn't make is, in my opinion, perhaps the truest sense of "taking the Lord's name in vain"—in so doing, we commit His Name to something that is not His Word.

For me at this point, that is just exactly what I needed to hear.
I'm glad it was something that was meaningful—sometimes I feel like I'm just climbing back up on the same old soapbox.
I have heard your soapbox about "The One" before, and am in agreement. Still, it's easy terminology to slip into that requires not a whole lot of explaination, so I doubt that there's much that can be done to make it slip out of use.

Thank you for the thoroughness of your reply. I am very interested in all the points you mentioned, as at this point in time I can see possible application to self, in addition to the wisdom being useful to store away for later. Anyway. You are demonstrating yourself well as a leader.

*treads gingerly*

The last Lost episode has haunted me this week I have to say, which doesn't always happen. I usually forget about it soon as watched it until the next one…but that one *tenterhooks* =:o.

Re: *treads gingerly*

Quite so. I heard many people having the same response, which was why I wanted to catch up ASAP. I had almost given up on Lost, but now they have me again.

Re: *treads gingerly*

Indeed. It's been rather more engaging recently shall we say.
Getting up to speed is what I'm doing. I haven't read your journal in a while.

I'm glad to hear things are going so well!

I watch Heroes, but not Lost. I've always like the idea of prophesy, and people trying to change it. There are so many ways it could go, and they're good at keeping me on the edge of my seat!