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Dressed for the wedding

So it turns out there's another kind of anxiety dream—the wedding dream. Who knew? Note to self: bring tuxedo to wedding.

God has so much work to do on me it's ridiculous. Even if He had nothing else to do in the universe other than to work on me, it seems like it would be enough to be a God-sized job and keep Him plenty busy. And yet, there's an arrogance threaded through any humility that thought might contain, which is yet another part of me that needs changing. I'm more amused than bothered by that irony.

I'm amused because, deep down, I know I'm free, even when I'm not living that way. God's authority is borne in power through His very Word, so once He has declared something, so it is. That makes me forgiven, clean, holy, righteous, beloved—a Son. That's enough to keep the weight of my sin from crushing me. It has already crushed Him, and I'll not pretend that didn't happen in some misguided attempt to bear my own punishment. Not that my choices are without consequence, but whenever I'm ready to stop pretending and live in the reality of His declaration, it's there waiting for me to turn around. Whenever I'm ready to live in His love, the Father waits to embrace me. No matter what I feel.


I own a tux if you need me to be your best man.
Don't even think I've ruled anything out.
I promise I won't wear my fake teeth.
I know—the very definition of amazing grace!
and you thought you'd had every possible kind already. ;o]

seriously, though. God is big enough for all the work He's going to do on me, and you, and us. :D and i love that you know that.
One of the weird parts of the dream was that your dad and brothers acted just like themselves (which was a good thing)!
at least they didn't try to sucka-punch you. ;o]
Devil eyes!
Well said. I agree except that I am not quite sure I really am free. If I were sure, then I would not be full of angst.
Some of these entries are a lot like the tattoos in Memento—I have a shallow and rotten memory of the truth, so I need to write notes when I do remember.

beautiful half


You express that half of the antinomy so beautifully! Thankyou.

Re: beautiful half

You're welcome (and thank you!). Glad to hear Coco's croup scare ended well, too.