Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

  • Mood:

The weakness of my frame

Threw my back out in a particularly nasty way this morning while adjusting my shoulder bag. There's pain across my shoulder blades and it hurts more to raise my arms or even inhale deeply. This too shall pass; it's just not fun in the meantime.

Thanks to friends near and far for all the warm congratulations on my engagement to/with barlow_girl. Hard to believe it hasn't even been a week yet! The joy definitely multiplies with others.

Besides the former and in addition to the latter, it feels like a few things in my life have gotten on track this week. Not effortlessly, but I don't mind, because some things in me needed and continue to need change and growth. A life of service requires constant redirection of a flesh that does not want to serve. It's been good to see when I'm at the beginning of a process and to be patient as it runs its course instead of just responding to my initial impulses. That gives me the freedom to feel what I'm feeling and still move forward in faith and hope, or even to cry out to God where I am lacking in these. Holding my tongue with others also proves a good discipline (and one in which I am often weak). I can't listen for God if I'm just acting out of impulse all the time, nor can I experience His comfort. I cannot trust God if I cannot wait on Him. Sometimes there is strength in waiting.
Tags: amy, faith, hope, life, struggle
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