Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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My Abba is very fond of me

Melissa added a shot of caramel to my latte, on the house. She loves me, I know.

It's the beginning of a week of joy. I overstate a bit, but knowing that I'll be predominantly on my own at the office this week makes me very happy indeed. Solitude offers me headspace, which I need.

Something is right about this morning. Something was a little wrong yesterday. I don't know what or why in either case; these are just things I sense. I was healthily introspective for a time yesterday: the Spirit searched my heart and showed me sin with the combination of conviction and comfort that is uniquely His. Seeing sin and knowing hope is grace; seeing sin and knowing grace is hope.

This morning I read Proverbs 9:13-18:
The foolish woman is loud,
Undisciplined, and knows nothing.
She sits at the door of her house,
On a seat in the high places of the city,
To call to those who pass by,
Who go straight on their ways,
"Whoever is simple, let him turn in here."
As for him who is void of understanding, she says to him,
"Stolen water is sweet. Food eaten in secret is pleasant."
But he doesn't know that the dead are there,
That her guests are in the depths of Sheol.

I listen to the foolish woman a lot. I've been choosing stolen water over Living Water, secret food over the Bread of Life. If you pray, please pray for me. Repentance is another grace, issued by God. I've tried to drum it up within myself, but the result is half-baked guilt and half-assed effort.

I'm not discouraged in the least. He is strong and loves me. He has promised and is faithful. My wayward heart cannot thwart Him.
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