As if to punctuate the latter point, this morning brings news of more of the same from my last institution. This kind of garbage is hardly exclusive to Jesuit institutions, but it adds a texture that's all the more sinister and repulsive.
Still, it's strange to realize that a competency has vanished, that I can no longer effectively do something at which I once excelled. That's life, of course—it's not the first to slip and likely won't be the last. I'm just not who I was, and I have to try not to see that as a failure. In some respects, I never was who I hoped to be, and maybe that's the kind of thing I can only come to grips with over time. Letting go of heroes is hard, and perhaps none so difficult as myself.