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No bullshit

Moonbat of the day

The internet convinces me, on a regular and varied basis, that people are crazy. They're also usually pretty sure they're right.

Today's example is Mary O'Hayes, who boldly writes about why single people can't really be as happy as those who are married (no matter what they themselves may think). I think this particular entry is a steaming pile of poo, not because I don't value marriage very highly, but because I don't have clear evidence that God has somehow made it more sacred and fulfilling than single life. On all sides of the fence, on this side of Heaven, there will be longings and places where we feel incomplete. Only the marriage of Christ to His Bride will bring completion. Just as I believe we are created male and female to allow for the full expression of God's image within humanity, I believe we see God revealed in singleness and marriage alike (Jesus didn't come for the purpose of strengthening the family; no one would have crucified Him for this). She does a good job of identifying the (possible) longing, but prescribing marriage as the cure is short-sighted and gives the institution a responsibility it cannot bear alone.

Just at a glance, I see some clues as to why O'Hayes and I might disagree:
Mary was raised Catholic, grew away from the Church in college, and dabbled in other religions. She’s returned to Catholicism, and now appreciates its art and beauty, moral framework, and enduring values.
The fact that we hold to different flavors of the Christian faith isn't necessarily problematic in the least, but those aspects she appreciates about her faith are, at their very best, fringe benefits and/or side-effects. Christ is the center of the Church (and everything else), without peer. If I were to construct a worldview around my opinions, rather than allowing my opinions to be shaped and informed by the One at the center of my worldview, things would obviously look very different.

Also, I think this is why I prefer online journalling to "blogging," which often seems to carry the attendant expectation of broad political opinion and social commentary. Certainly, many of us have such opinions (I obviously do), but to create and sustain a sense of certainty about disputable matters (which we don't necessarily believe to be Truth) requires a degree of bluster I find both exhausting and counterproductive. Perhaps it's hypocritical, but I think the online journal format provides me with more freedom to write about anything and everything, without the pressure to stir a controversy or even have a point, and with an even more clear implication that everything I write here isn't necessarily about anyone or everyone else.

But hey, that's just me.


wow, i had no idea how completely unhappy i was, being a single sucker. where's a man?! that'll make everything better.

i hate when people make a blanket assumption that ALL single people would rather be married. speak for yourself, doofus.
Why yes, you were clearly delusional. Mary O'Hayes loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.
hahaha! hopefully her and oprah never join forces.
well, i'm glad someone's looking out for me. i wonder who i should marry? my in-the-closet male friend, or maybe that guy in jail that wanted to be my myspace friend? either way, it's gotta be better than my current hell.
I've said this several times the last couple of weeks. Some people treat singleness like it's a disease that needs to be cured.
I like what Jackie Pullinger said about that. It was something to the effect of, "GOD would not withold from me a single good thing." Of course, that's using GOD's definition of a good thing, and not mankind's.
So true.
Ugh, why does one have to be better than the other. Some people are happier single and some are happier married. Big deal.

I have to admit that, being married myself, I get a little upset when I see the cover of Cosmo or something and they rave about being single and almost kind of discredit marriage. But I don't think the answer to my disappointment would be to write an absurd article like this woman did. I just wander past the magazine and thank God for the wonderful relationship I have with my husband and that I'm not miserable either way.
That sounds like contentment—the very thing those magazines promise but are set against (in order to sell the next magazine).
I think people will always kind of long for what they don't have, whether it's the independence of single life or the companionship of marriage. But I also have wondered in the past few months...how many people celebrate "compromise" and "self-sacrifice" because they just plain settled. It takes guts to quit the search and just seek Him. But usually when we do--in any area of life--He blows away our expectations. I want to marry a man someday not because he comes along at the moment I'm willing to marry...but also because he's something special I know God sent my way.

I don't expect a perfect person. But I do expect the person I marry to not only be committed to me & willing to compromise, but also to sharpen and challenge me as a person, and to complement and understand me in a way most others can't. Soulmate? In a way...all bound in Christ together for life would be that, right?
I think I agree. But I do think current Christian culture overemphasizes marriage/family and deemphasizes the Church in regard to how we are sharpened, challenged, complemented, and understood (and so much more). We are made each for the other, not just two-by-two, but as a Body and Bride. Many of us seem to have lost a full, rich sense of this (or never had it), and marriage and family become the repository for our desire for the wholeness we are offered in the Church.

So honestly, I believe that God can do everything you've said and more with or without an earthly marriage in your life. Whatever He does (as itspoetry said above), I know He will withhold no good thing from you, me, or any of His children
Amen. :-)


Yes, I'm happy married. I wasn't unhappy before I was married. How ridiculous. Married means a different life, but not a happier life. It all depends on the person and how they perceive their life. It also depends on the circumstances. I figure marriage this way, only get married if you're better together than you are apart. It's possible to be better single...really.

Re: Bah

Absolutely. The author is correct in pointing out that there are self-centered single people, but let's be honest—we all know plenty of self-centered married people, too. The truth is, both can be good and both can be broken.
I'm sure that all of the married couples who struggle with infertility are thrilled to discover that they are not adequately contributing to society!

I love the Catholic teaching on marriage and children. It's a shame that this woman doesn't know it very well and shoots her mouth off so carelessly. What a moron.
I hadn't even considered your point. How horrid.

In this case, the author clearly isn't allowing her faith to inform and shape her opinions. It'd be nice if she stated that up front, but it's not hard to see that she's jumped the track.
Erm... No-one has pointed out to her Matthew 19:10-12?

"The disciples said, "If that's how it is between a man and a woman, it's better not to get married."

Jesus told them, "Only those people who have been given the gift of staying single can accept this teaching. Some people are unable to marry because of birth defects or because of what someone has done to their bodies. Others stay single for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Anyone who can accept this teaching should do so."

I think telling anyone that marriage is a cure for longing is a sure-fire way to up the divorce rate considerably.

I'm Catholic and was immersed in Catholicism for the first 25 years of my life. I understand the kind of Catholic she is - she thinks the pretty churches and rituals and moralistic judging of others is God.

I might have to say more about this on my LJ.