Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

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Processing

Anytime that I have enough time between the end of work and Community Group to enjoy a cup of coffee at Victrola, I'm going to call that a victory. So, victory!

Does the whole world feel as constantly busy and behind as I do? It's strange, because objectively, I don't think I'm doing all that much. All just a state of mind, I suppose. When I do wind down, I can feel the difference pretty quickly, which is a blessing. I'd just like not to feel so roller-coaster-y.

The answer may lie in my computer. Well, not in my computer, but the way it behaves may give me clues to my behavior. It can do a lot of tasks at once, but if I try to run the same tasks while it's processing something else in the background, it bogs down and what was once snappy and easy is sluggish and labored. It all gets done in the end, but the experience is very different.

Heaven knows I'm processing a lot in the background (as well as the foreground). And it's all very, very good—I wouldn't change a thing. That said, I'll also be glad when some of that processing is finished and I'm able to more effectively integrate what I'm learning. Unlike my computer, I can grow and move forward—what's challenging today can become more natural in a week. That's work worth doing.
Tags: life, struggle
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