Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

  • Mood:

Seed of repentance

Now that my life is mostly good (or now that I can see that), some of the places where I've let sin grow-- and even cultivated it with greater love than I show God or people-- start to stick out, greasy stains on lightening background. I'm sickened a bit, and not nearly enough. My sins are my arsenal against the stillness I need and fear, my defense against the riskiness of trusting God. I run to them, cling to them, hiding them expertly when not in use.

Sorrow that leads to repentance is a gift. I've got the sorrow part, and I know the mechanics of repentance. Knowing isn't doing, and doing isn't being. Steps onward, inward, upward. I need. Something is moving, working in me. Spirit. He who began a good work will see it through to completion. The signs of beginning are clear. Faith and hope have landed on me, a package deal.

As Tommy paraphrased from Spurgeon yesterday, "How committed is Jesus to you?" The answer is a wellspring of life. The opposite question, "How committed are you to Jesus?," is mostly a big, clumsy, stupid club we Christians use to beat up ourselves and anyone within reach. God knows no hope comes from that answer.

Let me dwell on that first question and learn to live in it. He's here.
Subscribe

  • The analog ideal and the digital real

    There’s an underlying issue that’s been bugging me on the digital vs. analog stuff I’ve seen off and on for some time. So on Facebook, I tried to lay…

  • Being the limiting resource in the rushing stream

    Last weekend was our church's annual Men's Retreat, with the theme of "Living Intentionally." Though I was only able to attend a portion of the time…

  • Losses and messes

    Hasn't been the easiest past couple of weeks. Nothing awful in the scheme of things; just a steady stream of losses and messes, departures and FUBAR…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 3 comments