Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Growing pains

Though a marked improvement over yesterday, I am still tired, short tempered, and easily fed up. It's a cumulative effect, I think, the stockpiling of frustrations on many fronts without resolution or relief combined with constant skin irritation gnawing at me and making me recoil from my reflection. Things could be so much worse, yet I don't like them as they are in the meantime.

Working and getting a few things accomplished felt good. As the church grows, people are slowly realizing that our infrastructure (often me) is at its limits. More of us will need to step up to see good ideas become practical realities, and that's a good problem to have.

Perhaps my problems are good to have as well. Like the church, I'm reaching my limits and learning to stop. I'm tuning out a lot of the daily noise in hopes of keeping up with the rest, realizing where I've stretched myself far too thinly and where there is more taken from me than given back. People often don't think before they speak or act, and when they do, they often don't think much past themselves. There's only so much of that a person can take in. Even the internet is part of that, so forgive me where I'm paying less attention. If creating more space in my life results in even a bit more prayer, this would be of far greater value in reality than anything I might write.

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