You wouldn't believe how hard I've been fighting God. It masquerades as busyness, and a dozen other things, but really it's me fighting Him instead of resting in Him. It's easier to pretend that it's something else when my days are full of church, and that's exponentially more dangerous. I can't say with certainty that I'm writing from a better place; I'm only admitting the fact.
When you're fighting a battle you can't win against an Adversary who wants to love you above all else, the only sane course of action is to lay down your arms and surrender.
God blesses us all up to the full measure and extremity of what it is safe for Him to do. If you do not get a blessing, it is because it is not safe for you to have one. If our heavenly Father were to let your unhumbled spirit win a victory in His holy war, you would pilfer the crown for yourself, and meeting with a fresh enemy you would fall a victim; so that you are kept low for your own safety. When a man is sincerely humble, and never ventures to touch so much as a grain of the praise, there is scarcely any limit to what God will do for him.
—Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Morning and Evening (6 April, Evening: "Humiliation Brings Blessing")