Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Ridin' the storm out

By now, I should know better.

And I'm learning. I can't flip a switch and make wipe my feelings away, but I have a better sense of what's temporary and can tell myself to ride it out while my mind is going a mile a minute and my gut is knotted and I stay still because I'm afraid even moving will make me fall apart.

It does go away. Not the end of the world—that, I would recognize.

Maybe in the waiting I'll learn to be present with God. He's the only one who can heal me, even of my self-inflicted wounds. And so many are. I place myself in harm's way over and over. I've been doing some of this stuff to myself for two decades now. At the very least I can start responding differently, and maybe someday I can just stop going down the same roads.

Party tonight; huge launch day tomorrow. We're starting our Evening Worship (6:00 pm) in addition to Morning Worship (10:00 am), and afterward is Grace On Tap at Conor Byrne Pub (8:00 pm, free, 21+). The lineup includes Michael Vermillion (of Vendetta Red), Julie Jane, and Phileas Fogg, so it should be a great show—come on out, Seattlelites!

After a day and week like this, I'm ready for a pint or three.

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