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Victrola

Waking up from dreams where I am falling

We may be certain that whatever God has made prominent in His Word, He intended to be conspicuous in our lives. If He has said much about prayer, it is because He knows we have much need of it. So deep are our necessities, that until we are in heaven we must not cease to pray. Dost thou want nothing? Then, I fear thou dost not know thy poverty. Hast thou no mercy to ask of God? Then, may the Lord's mercy show thee thy misery! A prayerless soul is a Christless soul. Prayer is the lisping of the believing infant, the shout of the fighting believer, the requiem of the dying saint falling asleep in Jesus. It is the breath, the watchword, the comfort, the strength, the honour of a Christian.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Morning and Evening (2 January, Morning: "The Need for Prayer")


One of the rhythms of my life is that, no matter what else happens, Sunday pulls me outside myself, into a world of others and (when I am not so stiff-necked as to miss it) the presence of God. That's a grace. Though I'd say I'm good at maintaining perspective on most things, there are bits of my story that swallow me up when I spend too much time looking into the abyss. I need to wake up from the dreams where I am falling, and Sunday usually does just that.

Hopefully on the tail end of being a bit sick, something I probably could have shaken off with a little effort. Brooding and wallowing aren't good for the immune system.

Looking forward to 2005, another year I never thought I'd write on a check (and I haven't yet). Not much thought to resolutions; my resolve hasn't been so strong of late. Regardless, it's a good thing to live intentionally rather than by default, so maybe it's worth some consideration.

Comments

hope you keep feeling better. lately things with me have been psychosomatic, too.

what grace He gives - even something as simple as a routine day of worship can be salvation for us, creatures that we are.

I struggle

I struggle to show up to church. I struggle to worship. And then there's the dark blot on my soul, the one that I dare not talk about in a public forum. It steals my joy, and it makes attending church difficult. Sadly, I have no idea how to deal with it. So for now, I just put one foot after the other...

Re: I struggle

Whatever the blot, it's not bigger than the Cross. No way. And that's what brings us to a place where we can worship—whether with joy, or with tears, or with trembling awe—realizing that He is indeed greater than both our badness and our goodness. Holding onto either of those will keep us from Him.
I find it interesting that you read Spurgeon. My grandmother used to quote him daily.

I can still see her beautiful, wrinkled face glowing and her white, white hair shining and hear her saying, "Charles Spurgeon said..."
Ah, that makes me happy!