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Reaching

The goose is getting fat

I'm in the stage where I've given up on getting everything done before I leave for Christmas and am just hoping that I'm getting the right stuff done to keep things from falling apart until I get back. That's not as dramatic as it sounds, but it did have me running like a hamster in a wheel yesterday. Staff dinner was last night, and there's a holiday/engagement party this evening, so I bagged out on having morning prayer and breakfast with Annette, Heather, and Nate this morning. There's only so much of me.

Apparently needed the rest, because I didn't get out of bed until 10:30. That's just crazy. My sleep was fitful, too, and I often felt like I wanted to get up but was being held down. Lately I've awoken with my heart racing as often as not. It's uncomfortable and strange.

Journalling has also been strange. I find myself tempted to write things brighter or darker than they really are, creating some kind of image or character. Some of that is because I'm aware others are reading; some of it is how I want to see myself. It's given me lots of false starts in writing: "Is that really where your heart is?" And honestly, lots of my heart shouldn't be splayed out for all to see.

Peppermint mocha for my morning coffee today. Nancy boy.

Comments

I often felt like I wanted to get up but was being held down.

That is an amzing feeling. I know it well. And when I do finally get up it feels like I'm drugged. Takes some STRONG coffee to snap out of it. (the real drug!)
I love when you say 'nancy boy'.
It's particularly compelling when I do it with my pinky extended while sipping my peppermint mocha.
Journalling has also been strange. I find myself tempted to write things brighter or darker than they really are, creating some kind of image or character. Some of that is because I'm aware others are reading; some of it is how I want to see myself. It's given me lots of false starts in writing: "Is that really where your heart is?" And honestly, lots of my heart shouldn't be splayed out for all to see.

A lot of that I identify with.

I hope you sleep better tonight, waking up with a racing heart doesn't sound cool.
i had a peppermint mocha too.

it did make me feel kinda girly.

in the interest of self-therapy

"lots of my heart shouldn't be splayed out for all to see."

private posts are wonderful things.

:)

"do what you gotta' do".

<3,

C-
I'm in the stage where I've given up on getting everything done before I leave for Christmas and am just hoping that I'm getting the right stuff done to keep things from falling apart until I get back.

We're not even decorating this year. No one is coming to our house, and we're not even here much ourselves. I did get around to shopping and wrapping presents the other day, though. :)