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Superhero

The dark side

So I know what's disturbing me now, and it's not going to go away. I want it to, but I am who I am, things are what they are, and I'm just going to have to deal with it. And I hate that. Not just a little. A lot.

Time is tricky. Ever wonder what it'd be like to peek ahead a bit? If you could see it all, no doubt you'd go mad. That's true whether you could control it or not, because either way, we'd all look at things we can't handle. If you could see just a little, you might be OK under one condition: you can't care about anyone but yourself.

See, if you only care about yourself, you can be prepared and manage the things that might affect you. But if you care about someone else, anyone else, then you'll have a knot in your stomach much of the time, because you're going to see things that will hurt those you love. Everyone chooses. Since it's not your life, there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.

Except pray.

God is the only one who has the authority to make the future certain; for the rest of us, it's all just possibilities. He's the one who reveals truth, who guides to places of light, who turns evil to good, who defines love and gives it freely. Because He is good, He prizes His glory above all else. And somehow, He wants to listen. And He acts.

I wonder why I don't pray more.

Comments

really, this a response to you even though I ended up talking a hell of a lot about myself

it seems like prayer life should be one of the easiest things to keep healthy, and it's just so hard. sometimes I wonder if, on top of my own laziness, if I don't want to ask and tune into what God has for me because I don't want to be responsible for responding to it. which is ridiculous, but probably the case for me.

my roomate and I decided to move to australia to get away from life. and then we realized that even if we did have a big yard and rugged khaki outfits and lots of sun and maybe a pet kangaroo, we would still be ourselves and we can't get away from that. which was a bit disheartening, but we sure were glad we realized that before we packed up and moved to a different hemisphere.

all of which is to say- I feel you. Hope this finds you well.

Re: really, this a response to you even though I ended up talking a hell of a lot about myself

I think having a pet kangaroo would have to make life better.

Re: really, this a response to you even though I ended up talking a hell of a lot about myself

I know you feel me. Know that I'm thinking of and praying for you during this time, too. I treasure your friendship.
thank you for this...for saying the words I needed to hear about Him
That's true whether you could control it or not, because either way, we'd all look at things we can't handle.

That's so true.
So I know what's disturbing me now, and it's not going to go away. I want it to, but I am who I am, things are what they are, and I'm just going to have to deal with it. And I hate that. Not just a little. A lot.

Reminds me of Paul's thorn in his side...