Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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The dark side

So I know what's disturbing me now, and it's not going to go away. I want it to, but I am who I am, things are what they are, and I'm just going to have to deal with it. And I hate that. Not just a little. A lot.

Time is tricky. Ever wonder what it'd be like to peek ahead a bit? If you could see it all, no doubt you'd go mad. That's true whether you could control it or not, because either way, we'd all look at things we can't handle. If you could see just a little, you might be OK under one condition: you can't care about anyone but yourself.

See, if you only care about yourself, you can be prepared and manage the things that might affect you. But if you care about someone else, anyone else, then you'll have a knot in your stomach much of the time, because you're going to see things that will hurt those you love. Everyone chooses. Since it's not your life, there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.

Except pray.

God is the only one who has the authority to make the future certain; for the rest of us, it's all just possibilities. He's the one who reveals truth, who guides to places of light, who turns evil to good, who defines love and gives it freely. Because He is good, He prizes His glory above all else. And somehow, He wants to listen. And He acts.

I wonder why I don't pray more.

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