Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

  • Mood:

Leaning in

Just booked my flight home for Christmas. Home isn't really the right word, though, because Seattle and my apartment are very much my home now. Regardless of terminology, it will be good to spend time with family for a few days. The last couple of years have been special treats now that I have a nephew and nieces. I miss their faces.

Feeling terribly busy, yet when I take an objective look, it's not really too bad. What's up? Much of it is that I have trouble resting and being still, yet I crave time to myself, so I easily feel put upon. Tonight has been a little quieter and I can literally feel myself slowly coming to my senses. I go through this all the time but never manage to actually fix it, so learning not to take my dysfunction out on the world is the next best order of business, and I'm doing better with that.

Longing, hope, and joy. I've got a cup full of Advent for sure. That those can exist simultaneously is a great comfort to me (and a real shock to some). I'm tired of running from tension, and God never intended me to do that in the first place.

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