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Fathoming Gethsemane

Do you doubt, O Christian, do you doubt as to whether God will fulfill His promise?...Perhaps your affliction will continue upon you till you dare to trust your God, and then it shall end.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Morning and Evening (9 November, Evening: "No Light Sin")

What does it mean for God's heart to grieve? Lately, faced with my own (often illegitimate) griefs and disappointments, I've been drawn to consider His heart. What does He feel when I am unfaithful? How terrible for the only heart pure in love to be broken! I only have a taste and it feels like too much. I cannot fathom Gethsemane.

Yet that is exactly what I must consider if the gift of repentance is to be realized in my life. His tears are not the end of the story, but they are part of the story. God's passionate love includes the pain of it, far beyond the echoes I can know.

"You are more than this," He says to His children, over and over, even while our ears are filled with the sound of our own distractions and pursuits. We make so much noise. Pursuing those things that please us and grieve Him, we completely deny His claim on us. We reject His love for our lusts (the Bible's imagery of "skirts over our heads" and "camels in heat" is apt). Most of the time, we don't even admit it.

I think so much about how I feel and so little about how He feels. Yet my feelings are untrustworthy, while He can never be untrue.

It is a grace for me to be discontent in these parts of my life. My restlessness exposes counterfeits, calling me out to true Rest. It will continue upon me till I dare to trust my God.


Okay, so off topic, I apologize, but I need to vent/grips.

I hate LJ icons like this:

They give me the heebs like Rebecca St. James. The people who use them don't give me the heebs, just the LJ icons themselves.
Oh! I pluralized grip into grips, when all along it should have been gripe.

Re: I don't like them, either~

I think it is just that . . . a cat. He also has this one . . .

Now I must stress, it is not the LJ user I dislike, it is just those freaky blasted animated things. UGH!

Re: I hear you, but~

What's the problem? He likes licks babies!

Re: I hear you, but~

Okay, I feel like a jack-ar$e. Here you've poured your heart out with good theological truth and we're talking about licking babies.

Wait, if I take an implication from what you've written, then my feelings are likely untrustworthy, too, thus I shouldn't feel bad for jacking up your post, right?
Let's see: first a doggie ding-dong, now this. Maybe I'll just screen or disable comments, if it gets to me. I'd suggest you get your own journal, but you already have one.
i needed to hear all of that. thanks. :o]

I think I had an on-topic response, but I had to scroll to the bottom to get to the "leave a comment" button. :p


I find that my greatest difficulty in moving to the next step in faith is letting go of the world. I try to think about how He feels, and to listen to Him, but I get scared of abandoning the world (or having it abandon me). So silly.

For the last year or so, every Sunday after communion, (and other times) I pray for wisdom--the wisdom to know what's good, to not be led astray as I was before, and to understand what God's asking of me in my life.

This past week, I started asking for courage--so often, I know what the right thing to do is, but I find myself without the courage to do so.