Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

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Unplugged

Darn near spooky how much I'm in love with my days off. When I wake up at an unreasonably early hour (this morning it was about 5:20), I often get out of bed and stay up, knowing I can return to sleep whenever the urge strikes. It's a beautiful thing.

My local coffee shop, Irwin's, has become a little treasure. There's no internet connection here (writing from my PowerBook now and will upload when I get home), which makes me a notch or two less spazzy. Earlier this week I had a yummy green chile and tortilla soup for lunch; today it was the quiche. I'm just that comfortable with my masculinity.

Will TiVo ever stop being fun?

Left a couple of my reading books at the office yesterday, so if I ever do take a break from one screen or another to read, I'll need to either pick up a new book or return to something already in progress. Wish I were a more focused reader; that's a practice, practice, practice thing, I think.

Sensing that I'm at an odd little juncture in my life right now. No time limit or expected outcome, but find myself reorienting around what's important to me, discovering the implications and courses of action connected to what I (say I) believe. Sometimes sobering, but really not unpleasant—sometimes even empowering. I've spent a lot of time becoming whoever/whatever I am, and in some ways, I'm only now realizing and owning what that means, which doors are opened and which are closed, what to pursue and what to wait for.

Many of us go through a similar process, but centered on career or education or romance or family. I'm not particularly invested in any of those, though I might become equipped for each or all of them. I truly am free to seek first the Kingdom and let Him add the rest. The will's the thing. Will I do what I can do? I'm learning I need to trust Him with that as well.
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