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Black

Web

Outside the window behind my desk, I watch a large spider do the slow work of reweaving her web. Though remarkably resilient, it's still tattered and full of debris brought by wind and rain. After a time, she retreats with one of her remaining meals. Soon she'll be back at it, and I can't help but thinking how futile her efforts are. She can't comprehend that the wind and rain will come again soon, that what she does now will be again undone. Even now the web shudders in the breeze as she huddles in the corner to eat.

Life feels like that.

I feel as helpless as the spider. What if she does know, and there just isn't a damn thing she can do about it, so she plugs ahead, because that's what spiders do? Is that better or worse?

I can feel sorry for myself about the littlest things, stuff that shouldn't matter but does. Move on. That spider should just wise up and build her web somewhere else. She should know this isn't working, that the conditions aren't right, that this isn't the time or place to build a web that will last. Yet she continues. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Is she insane? Am I?

Maybe she doesn't care if it will last at all. She just needs a web, now, to give her the other things she needs. Who's going to look out for the spider if she doesn't look out for herself? And looking long-term isn't really the province of spiders anyway. I've looked long-term for years, decades now, until my eyes hurt and my vision blurred. I envy the spider that bit of oblivious instinct. Maybe she's living better than I am.

Comments

hi.
Hi you. Welcome home.
finally. what happened to the rain. boo sun. :(
It's going moment-to-moment clouds vs. sun here. I'm staying on the couch and pretending it's raining.
How're you?
ok. :)
You're quick on the draw. :)
Or maybe knows that God is the One running things. So instead of worrying, she does what she's supposed to do, which is build webs even when the rains and winds come. God cares for the sparrows, the spiders and you :-)
i like this post
I think I live most of my life as apparently oblivious as the spider... or I keep TRYING to... I'm not sure which it is.

sorry about the confusion this morning...

Who is going to look after the Spider? God looks out for it, he created it afterall. But more importantly, he created you in his image. The spider cannot ever compare to you. He wants to take care of you. Don't worry about the long term, worry about today and only today since tomorrow will bring its own troubles. Trust God in the here and now, then worry about tomorrow when you come to that bridge. I believe in Matthew 6, Jesus says that.

Trust God now, and let him guide you one step at a time. David said the Lord was the lamp at his feet guiding him step by step. Not the light at the end of the tunnel revealing everything. Eventually, God will show you, but only when he is ready. Don't worry. God will take care of you, once you let him.