Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Letting go isn't always giving up

The rich young ruler [Luke 18:18-30] went away from Jesus speechless with sorrow, having nothing to say in response to Jesus’ words. He had no doubt about what Jesus had said or what it meant, and it produced in him a sorrow with no words with which to respond. Have you ever been there? Has God’s Word ever come to you, pointing out an area of your life, requiring you to yield it to Him? Maybe He has pointed out certain personal qualities, desires, and interests, or possibly relationships of your heart and mind. If so, then you have often been speechless with sorrow. The Lord will not go after you, and He will not plead with you. But every time He meets you at the place where He has pointed, He will simply repeat His words, saying, "If you really mean what you say, these are the conditions."

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (18 August, "Have You Ever Been Speechless with Sorrow?")

There's a lot in this. Honestly, I think most of us are too self-centered to see it.

Full day yesterday: work, lunch with Heather, dinner with cow, Community Group. Good to meet cow in the flesh over a good meal, a good beer, and a good conversation. Taking it easy tonight, which is nice. Stillness comes hard for me, even though it's one of the things I most deeply need. I think lots of us are that way in our current culture.

Way too short tempered the last couple of days.

Letting a lot of things sink in related to remembering what I want. Not epiphanies; just letting the realization bring things to the surface and experiencing them. It's a strange place, but I've been in stranger. And it's a hopeful one, even when I choose directions opposite of what might seem to make sense.

Looking forward to fall and winter, when I can have a fire in my fireplace. I've wanted that for a long, long time.

Love that we will have a Radiohead quote on the cover of our church bulletin this Sunday.

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