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20th

You gotta know when to hold 'em

Heaven help me, I'm considering switching back to a Micro$oft product—the level of integration in the new Office 2004 for Mac, particularly in Entourage, is at least worth taking for a spin. Conversion isn't as (technically) easy as I'd like, but I'm not always the best steward of my free time anyway.

Moody. Having a better acceptance of the things I cannot change would help my disposition, though I don't know what that would do to my spirit. How much is not trusting God? Where do faith/hope/perseverance and acceptance collide? I'm sure there's a line somewhere in my vicinity, even if I don't know which side of it I'm on.

But you know what? There are things, important things, damn near hopeless things that just piss me off too much to let go of. And maybe I should accept that there's nothing I can do, but how many of those bitter coins do I drop into the futility piggy bank before it makes as much sense to cash out and die?

That's just not me.

Vegas awaits tomorrow. It'll be easy to enjoy; I just spend too much time in my head sometimes. Looking forward to time with my sister and brother-in-law, who coming from Iowa to spend a few days away from the kids (this precipitated my last-minute trip). Much of my work can be telecommuted, and it's not a high-pressure week as far as I can tell. Getting back Thursday evening gives me enough troubleshooting margin if anything arises.

Besides, I'll be rich by then.

Comments

Accepting that there's nothing you can do doesn't always mean trusting God. Many people don't, and then do become despondent and bitter.

It's a conscious choice to trust God, and then allow His joy to fill you anyway.

Besides, the one thing you can always do is pray. And sometimes that's the very thing that needs done the most.