?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Black

Coming home (to)

Tonight would have been a good night to have someone to come home to. Silly, trivial, meaningless things drug me to the end of my rope today. It shouldn't be hard to recover, but a day like this reminds me of how good it can be to have someone who knows me, who can be present with me, who can hear me in spoken and unspoken ways. I have more peace with being single than many people I know, but I won't pretend there isn't a difference. A little dinner might help my disposition.

Still, it would have been nice.

Comments

I often feel the same way.
I think most of us have times like this. And if I were married, I've no doubt I'd have times I wanted to come home to an empty home. It's easy to envy the gift we don't have, whichever it might be.
nothing i can say wont sound pretentious...or condescending...
so i will say this...
i am praying for you always....
Thank you for this.
Aptly put. Sorry, kid. Did dinner help?
It did indeed, thank you.
I sometimes have these crazy daydreams that I want to marry you. Yes, no, kind of, and not really. I think there's a bit of empathy in the mix, and also, your spiritual observations are so very encouraging that I can't help but hoping that my husband (if I ever do marry) will be similar in his expressions. Hmmm. Thank you for giving me something to look up to.
This is high praise, and I can't do much but blush and say thank you again.
you seem to put to words so eloquently what i never can.
(not that that helps, but i couldn't stand not mentioning it any more)
and, though i don't know you, i agree with the person above me who stated that you seem to exact qualities that i can only pray for in my future husband.
God Bless.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.
My theory is that it's the little things, not the grand, dramatic gestures, that genuinely say "I love you" .... like the aroma of dinner cooking when you walk in the door.

.. and yes ... somedays it's not as easy to overlook the fact that we were made to be pairs.
I think it's a longing God can minister to and use in my life, if I'll yield it to Him.
True--but will you "let Him" by trying to kill or deny the longing, or will you live into it? Maybe by taking a risk and asking someone out? Just wondering...
sorry if that sounded too personal or snarky--it's just an issue I am struggling with right now. What does it look like to trust God, and is what I sometimes call "waiting on God' nothing more than inertia and fear? This obviously applies to lots more than just the singleness issue.
Oh my goodness, that was neither too personal nor too snarky. Fear not!
Oh, I think that's a very valid question. Younger, I was terribly shy and rarely every asked anyone out. But with years, mistakes, and experience, I'm a lot less hesitant—I have more confidence and less to lose.

It's one of many longings to live into, though, and while it's not something I run from, it's also not something I feel the need to "fix." There's no relationship on deck where asking out is the next move I want to make. That means loneliness sometimes, certainly, but I'm not up for skipping healthy, considerate steps (not that I have a checklist!) and taking a jump motivated just by my own desire for companionship—there needs to be more.

In other words, I don't want to be like Miss Amanda Jones:

I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons then alone for the right.

—Amanda Jones, Some Kind of Wonderful