Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Counterfeit life

After being up a little while, I went back to bed this morning and curled up again. Even though it's my day off, I didn't want to face it. For some reason I'm emotionally fragile and wounded lately.

Choking on self-importance all around and within me. I know God didn't create us to be the puffed-up jackasses we've become, turning every conversation back to ourselves and acting as if we are nothing more than opinion factories. It's such a dodge from being real, from life. I think it makes most of us sick inside, but living any other way is too frightening. I'm not tired of real people, but I'm sick to death of our masks and the parodies of life we put on in fear.

Today I'm not sure how to live a life called out from that bondage, either. But I want to, and I want to trust that He can give me freedom—genuine and abundant life that doesn't have me at the center, that doesn't have me trying to muster the gravity to put the universe in orbit around me and doesn't have me spewing garbage and noise in an effort to validate my existence. Jesus has done that work. He's the King, I tell you.
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