A pitiful, sickly, and self-centered kind of prayer and a determined effort and selfish desire to be right with God are never found in the New Testament. The fact that I am trying to be right with God is actually a sign that I am rebelling against the atonement by the Cross of Christ. I pray, "Lord, I will purify my heart if You will answer my prayer—I will walk rightly before You if You will help me." But I cannot make myself right with God; I cannot make my life perfect. I can only be right with God if I accept the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ as an absolute gift. Am I humble enough to accept it? I have to surrender all my rights and demands, and cease from every self-effort. I must leave myself completely alone in His hands, and then I can begin to pour my life out in the priestly work of intercession. There is a great deal of prayer that comes from actual disbelief in the atonement. Jesus is not just beginning to save us—He has already saved us completely. It is an accomplished fact, and it is an insult to Him for us to ask Him to do what He has already done.
Need to start accepting this, and to stop accepting anything less.
Remember who you are...
Had a song stuck in my head for almost a day now. Not good, but maybe God is using it to remind me who I am. He knows how much I need that, how much I've been running from it. Even so, it's disturbing.
But I know normal is an illusion...
Cooked for myself more this week. Best dinner was lemon herb chicken breasts, sautéed asparagus, rosemary red potatoes, and a chilled chardonnay. Since I'm single, I've had that dinner twice so far.
A long-planned trip to City Peoples Mercantile yesterday brought the unexpected purchase of a charcoal grill. Now that I have a courtyard of my own, it's time to master the art.
At least I haven't seen Dan Savage for a couple of days.