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Gary

When the milk goes sour

I'm afraid my sense of humor is evaporating. I crash in two ways, both of which I've already done today: I either laugh and joke with someone but cross a line and end up pissing them off, or I stop being able to laugh and joke about something because I see the brokenness behind it and am suddenly sick to my stomach. I don't want to be serious all the time, either (that, apparently, pisses people off too—another thing that's been brought to my attention today). Neither do I want to reduce serious things to crude jokes. So it's just uncomfortable.

Thankful today for friends who share a vision and excitement for what God is up to, for His mission that moves forward and changes the world. Chatting a bit with scillymonster this morning recharged batteries that had been suddenly and unexpectedly depleted. He gives me what I need even when I'm being a bonehead.

Comments

Hi! I came across your journal via a comment you made in Joshua Project--I have just started looking into the various LJ communities. I randomly clicked on that one, listed under the heading of "counseling"--anyway, after reading back a ways in your journal, I was surprised to see you went to Mars Hill. I am in my first year there (in the counseling program, explains why I was looking at the counseling page). I love Seattle, too-I moved here from FL. Reading some of your entries, esp. the one you posted in JP, made me realize I am playing “Ditch the Church”. You have spoken the truth about where my heart is—I don’t like seeing it, because I am kind of enjoying my current unchurched state, but I know it is true—esp. the part about failing to worship at all. I used to roll my eyes at the people who said they worshipped better at the beach than in church, but that’s where I have been living these last 8 months (longer than that, really). So I thank you for speaking truth, and now I guess I have to decide what to do with it.
I also appreciated your response to someone’s question re Seattle’s liberality—you said that so well. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts.
Wow, very cool to have you on board. Please let me know if there are any ways I can be of assistance to you (I'm on staff at a local church, so I'm afraid I'm not unbiased). I'd love to add you to my friends list, if that's OK.
please do, I added you to mine.
and thanks for the offer of assistance. I was a church secretary for 4 years before coming here--I know that's where a good bit of my anger and wanting to blow off church is coming from, sad to say. Working there while going through a divorce was not a good experience.I have visited a few churches here, & can hardly sit through the service. Nevertheless, what you said is true--the church is the chosen bride of Christ, so I have to learn to deal with my disappointment somehow.
This has me laughing because I know of three ex-admin staff who go to my church, all with varying degrees of anger, and two others who have been with us in the past. If you count me on my bad days, that makes a nice half dozen. I've been joking with our new pastor that we should form a club/support group.

Disappointment and the church is a big deal. Is the Gospel powerful enough to redeem her in all her imperfection? It's probably a Western culture thing, but many of us want to believe in His redemption in our lives but have trouble believing it for the Body.
And there are too many "buts" in my last sentence, but I'm tired. There it is again.
I have enough trouble believing it for MY body.

I know I am refusing to have hope b/c i don't want to be hurt again--easier just to not go to church, not enter in. But not really.
if you do start that support group, let me know...thanks for chatting, esp. when tired.
My pleasure; I'll look forward to talking more.
Puns are great. Puns keep jokes from being crude, and yet allow for laughter. My husband is an expert punster, and he keeps me in stitches. Don't give up on humor! Laughter is necessary, and if someone gets pissed off because of your jokes, well they need to remember how to laugh. Please don't let the laughter die; there's not enough of it in this world.
It's uncomfortable out in the world when the truth is too important to you, isn't it?
Yes, and combined with the human tendency to be the worst enemy of our own souls it's downright unfun.