Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Real life

Rainy in Seattle again. About time, too. I'm a little tired today, probably more a result of using my time poorly than of working too hard. The work day was productive yesterday, but hardly overwhelming. One of the things which affects me is an emotional undercurrent in the office. Suzanne and Tommy just don't seem present most of the time; they are occupied with other dramas. Prayer would be the most helpful thing I could give, and I really haven't yet.

I thought my old field was unique in how it enmeshed personal and professional lives, but working in a church office blurs the boundaries even moreso. There just seem to be no distinctions between the two, and nearly everything is relational. I don't know that it can/should be any different; I'm just not yet comfortable with it.

Part of the strangeness is because I don't really have any church relationships that are deep enough to contain the drama that Tommy and Suzanne wrestle with daily. That's nothing to brag about. There is the advantage of being able to simply get things done, but I should develop deeper relationships as well (even if I handle them differently in the workplace).

As mentioned last entry, I'm inches from giving up reality TV. Simple reason: I just don't like these people. Contrasted with the above, I'm doing a better job keeping up on the "lives" of people in the idiot box (who I don't even like) than I am being in the lives of real flesh and blood people I could love. And who could love me. Time invested poorly, draining energy from the pursuit of the real.

Sounds like I made a decision.

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