The Banzai Chronicles

So I'm watching High School Reunion again, because I'm a huge frickin' idiot. This guy (re)proposes to his ex-wife and mother of his kids (high school sweethearts, married because she was pregnant, yadda yadda). All good—the redemption and restoration of marriage is a beautiful, wonderful, excellent thing. But this guy's proposal peaked something like this:

...and I can't promise you success, but I promise I'll give you 100 percent...

OK, musclehead, this isn't the coach's pep talk at the big game. 100 percent?! Get real. Nobody gives anyone 100% all the time, not even themselves. This is the kind of bullshit that made you end up in a doomed marriage the first time.

Now we're at the end, and everyone is talking about how they accomplished their goals, broke their stereotypes, and all that rot. Again, all fine and good, except the beautiful successful people are talking about how the geek taught them that looks and intellect don't matter. Wait a minute, isn't that just another insult?

Yeah, I watched it. I'm the idiot.