Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Alternate endings

Sometimes when I see DVD ads on television that tout alternate endings, I wonder, "What if life came with alternate endings?"

Then I remember.

A separate thought (though not entirely so, now that I think about it): is it possible for one to have an occupational/social life cycle? I seem to wear out my welcome in each workplace within three years, precipitating the need to move on. Can't explain it. Would like to think it's not my fault, but I appear to be the common thread. Hate it. Not something I want to have happen to my current life (job changes and social changes have always gone hand-in-hand), but when sparks of conflict I cannot otherwise account for begin to pop up, fear and insecurity tell me the clock is ticking and to pack lightly.

What am I doing wrong? Or is it just me?

Mustn't camp out in self-doubt too long. It's just an offshoot of self-pity, which is a deadly combination of self-centeredness and faithlessness. Honestly, I'm just not that important. What I am is afraid, and that's something I'd like to put to death and have peace about. Prayer's the thing.

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