Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Preparing for midnight

Today has been a challenge, driven more by distraction than purpose. It's far from over. A call from a stranger late last night led to my agreeing to moderate a discussion at midnight tonight. Hard things: concerns, confrontations, confessions, clarity, control. I am, in this case, an odd middleman, a step distant, but not in a bad way. I hope to help, to guide, to guard our process and the hearts involved in it. I'm only human; I am most concerned for my friend. Thankfully, this seems to be the primary concern for all involved, however we approach it.

This is what my gifts are for.

My disposition has worsened over the week. The little things continue to set me off; roadblocks and technical difficulties sprout like weeds. They aren't the problem. I knew I would be like this now, knew it would be hard this year. I can't make anyone understand.

Loading in the caffeine now. It'll only go so far and I don't know how far I'll need to go. The fact that I avoided Thanksgiving plans (knowing it would be a difficult day) will work in my favor. Perhaps I'll cook tomorrow, or simply warm the turkey dinner in my freezer.

Yet I am thankful still.

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