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Question on love

What is the difference between loving someone and loving how being loved by them feels?


It's hard to tell the difference, but another way to put it is 'in love with love'.

It's hard to explain, but I'll try.

But the other person won't hold the person's interest, not completely. They're in love with an ideal, a feeling, and not the person themselves.

I've seen it go either way - either an out-of-sight-out-of-mind course, or an almost obsessive must-be-with-them reaction. It can get emotionally manipulative, but not always.

::sighs:: I'm doing a lousy job. But this is hard to pin down, and I've just got some of my own experience and observations to draw on, and it's something that can vary.

But there would be, I would think, an emphasis on the emotions, and not the person. Quite likely, there's not all that much in common, or possibly even very little chemistry. And under it all, there can be a reaction of, "If I leave, who would love me then?"

Or it's ego-stroking, having the minions adore someone kind of reaction.

The difference is, it's not who it is that matters. It just comes down to being adored, to being in love with love. When you're in love with love, the faces are all interchangeable. Someone might not realize it, but they are not committed to the other person. They are not focused on what's best for them, or even that person themselves.

I hope this helped clarify it somewhat.
This is clear and most helpful. I'm very interested in people's thoughts on the question.
I wish I knew.
One requires something of another person and one does not. So obviously one has a better chance of being unconditional.
This makes me think in some really good ways; it sums up a truth most people seem to miss. Thank you.
Took a long time for me to realize it ;)
this may be a long and drawn out example but it is the best i can think of

in high school/college i dated a loser, a druggie and drop out. when he screwed up and came to me for help my first thought was how to clear it up and move on and make sure he would stay with me. I didnt truly care about making him learn or get him some help. I didnt really care about our relationship growing, just that it was there, to say hey here is my significant other. It wasnt until he violated my personally that i left.

now, cnatrast that with today. If my Husband were to run into the kind of trouble that my ex did i would help him to make things right. I would not try and just smooth it over. I would also try and make him treat the issues and improve himself and his relationship with God so that it would not happen again.

I think that is the difference between loving someone and loving how beign loved is just what you do for them and how you view them. Would you die for them..."slowly cut into a thousand pieces"....would you want them to be a better person or just be there for you....does your heart sing for joy for their salvation or mourn if they arent ..or do you just not care.

that is my two cents...which may make no sense...
This is definitely something I've thought about before, loving someone vs. loving how being loved by them feels.

I believe the latter doesn't have a strong foundation, it won't last.

Imagine if we only loved and followed GOD when we were loving how we felt while doing it.

I suppose it's the same with people. We can't focus on ourselves and how we feel.

I think I'd be cheating someone out of something important if I only was with them because it made me feel good.

My Two Cents

Cent #1:

The latter is a happy by-product of the former and evaporates when pursued for its own merits.

Cent #2:

Jesus loves me. I love how being loved by Him feels, but have no capacity for love on my own.
I can only answer through observation of the former and experience of the latter.

I'm skeptical of this question because it tends to cast a shadow on the experience of being loved by another and how incredible it is.

That being said, I think it's a valid question. I think that real love will always the willingness to be humble and change. There is the freedom to reveal the 'ugly' and take it to the Cross. In the other, you tend to want to hide it, because you need the adulation too much.

Loving someone is (ideally) unconditional, whereas loving their love for you is not. Real love means being concerned with what's best for the other person, whether they love you or not. It took years for my now-boyfriend to return my romantic feelings for him, but that never stopped me from helping him and doing things for him. It didn't matter to me whether he loved me or not. Because I cared about him so much, I couldn't stop myself from trying to make him happy. I know that's a very flawed description, but there you go.