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Black

Banzai's list

Has that breaking of my independence come? All the rest is religious fraud. The one point to decide is— will I give up? Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come? I must be broken from my own understanding of myself. When I reach that point, immediately the reality of the supernatural identification with Jesus Christ takes place. And the witness of the Spirit of God is unmistakable— "I have been crucified with Christ ...."

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (3 November , "A Bondservant of Jesus")


A blend of productivity and easiness has made this a good day so far. A few minutes until I meet with Annette about how our Saturday "Breakfast Club" of Community Group leaders spends our time. Blew my stack with them a bit this past Saturday— I fear that we are often wasting our time when our task calls for diligence, vigilance, intentionality, vision. Lightheartedness can certainly come in pursuit of our charge, but not at the cost of pursuing it well. I wish people could see what I see.

Nate asked me if I felt like Schindler. He's more on target than he knows. Can we be co-laborers in earnest while he doesn't know that about me? Yet the seriousness shouldn't, mustn't be about me. Community challenges me; so much of me is more accustomed to command.

I am learning, though. All things have their time.

Haven't been home yet and I don't mind. These are the right things, the good things, the things worth spending time on. Reaching out to Garret and Amber, to Jim and Amy, to Dawn. Seeking clarity and structure with Alex and with Ben. Pursuing vision with Annette. Plus a pint, a sandwich, and coffee in between. You can't beat that.

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