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Black

Dave preaches as I write. Strange and perhaps disrespectful to do so, but I can hear the message better if I also wrestle with my internal processes meanwhile.

Think I dreamed something last night, but I don't think I'll let myself remember. Don't even know if it was good or bad. It doesn't really matter. I know enough about the feel of it, the scent of it, the sense of it, the weight of it to know which part of my heart was involved.

This may be a difficult season.

I've known that for a while, known what was coming and when it was coming, what was and what is. God hasn't failed or vanished. All things are working together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

And yet there are losses.

It's OK. I'm OK and I'll be OK. This can be a time for me to be closer to Him and those in my life than I've ever been, if my eyes will turn to Jesus over and over again, in plenty and in want. It's time to be real and true, and hopefully, faithful.

Comments

This, too, shall pass. Sorry you are melancholy - I think sometimes contemplatives might be more prone to that than others. I also think the difficult seasons are what make the good ones appreciable - like having a winter makes you appreciate the summer, as opposed to living in San Diego and taking eternal summer for granted. Supposed to be encouraging, I think I'm just rambling. :)
I'm encouraged.

Melancholy and hope aren't mutually exclusive for me, thankfully. Gratitude is definitely a part of my experience.
i wish you'd get an easy season once in a while, but maybe you need a long time in the wilderness. whatever happens will be good in the end.
And much is good right now. I'm blessed like mad, and even the losses will be redeemed.
Oddly, the sermons I've paid the most attention to are the ones in which I played games on my PDA ... I have a theory about people learning best when the whole brain is engaged.