Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Simma da na!

A really rotten quality of mine is my mind's tendency to dwell on work even in my off-hours. This isn't the "I love my job" kind of dwelling, or the "I'm engrossed in a project" kind of dwelling, but the "I have so much to do and no motivation" kind. That makes for a real lose-lose, because I don't get any rest, I don't get anything accomplished, and I feel terrible.

On Friday my supervisor told me they didn't think it would be best for me to continue in my current position next contract year, which I've held in an interim capacity this year. That was as much a relief as anything else, as I'd been struggling with what I wanted to do. I had no ambitions to be in my current position, but agreed to fill in when things fell apart last year and I was the last man standing. Being told I'm not cut out for it right now is no insult, and actually clears up my options a great deal. The challenge, however, is to find ways to stay motivated until this contract terminates at the end of June.

Want ads are frustrating because I know I could do or learn some of this stuff, but I don't have all of the listed qualifications. Welcome to the job search, Sparky-- I doubt there are many other people who've looked for employment who haven't had precisely the same feeling. Besides, I've only been semi-seriously looking for a few days, and it's not like I'm losing my own job. I just want a change, preferably delivered on a silver platter with an elegant garnish of some sort.

Question of the day: Are you watching the Super Bowl? I must admit, I barely knew there were Baltimore Ravens at all. For me, the Super Bowl is just a big event to be part of (or not) and an excuse to eat junk food. This year, I think I might just cut out the middleman and eat the food.

I'm enjoying this online life more and more. I have new and interesting friends, and even the occasional long silence is accepted with grace. That's too often not my experience in reality, with the perceived expectation to perform and entertain. Don't get me wrong-- there's nothing like a real, face-to-face relationship. But this way of getting to know someone isn't half bad, and is more forgiving/less pressured in many ways.

Then again, a real, live snuggle would be most welcome, too...

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