Love to claim that work is the only reason I've been less than substantive; things are rarely so cut and dried.
I've been a stranger to prayer, aside from the quick upshot to God, a cursory blessing over the occassional meal, or praying in a group as I think I ought. Somewhere along the line I stopped believing— in practice, not merely in principle— that God answers prayer, that He comes through. And so I have asked half-heartedly or not at all, and I do not have because I do not ask. Such power, yet I am insistent on relying on my own. Why would I do such a thing? The answer is as embarrassing as my foolishness, as disappointing as my faithlessness, and as convicting as my idolatry of myself— my desire to be God. That's a motivation that chills me with its familarity.
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of Yourself, for inviting me to petition Your throne. There's a lot on the docket.