Frightened of this thing that I've become
It's been rough. Wish I could explain, but I can't. Mercifully, I was jostled awake today by a few reminders that the world is bigger than me. More of us could use more of those more of the time.
I scare the living daylights out of myself sometimes. Frustrated by the self-involvement of others, I find myself in an even deeper pit of my own. The truly frightening part is the distinct possibility that I was in it all along.
This is mercy, I remind myself. "Let God minister to you," someone says, and each word hits like a velvet hammer. Maybe that's what this is.
My son, do not despise the Lord's disciplineI need reminders of what's my life and what's not, what's my responsibility and what isn't, what's real and what's fantasy. I see the wreckage that occurs without that, behind and ahead. I can't be faithful without being grounded in reality.
and do not resent His rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those He loves,
as a father the son he delights in.
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on
—Peter Gabriel, "I Grieve"