Spending time in solitude has been unsettling. There's a lot I don't like about myself, plenty that's downright uncomfortable. It's hard not to hide.
As I did some cleaning, I came across some long-forgotten papers, including a letter from a former student written in 1998, as he and I both searched where our paths would next lead. Aaron is now on staff with Community Reformed Church in Holland, MI. I haven't been in communication with him since we both left Central College that year, though I'm inclined to jot him a note tomorrow. His words remind me of who I'd like to be:
You and I are both at the threshold of some changes in our life. Tonight I spent a good amount of time having a cup of coffee with our Father and reflecting on the countless ways He has shown His love and faithfulness in my life. You have been used in my life many times by the Lord. I am so thankful that God put you in Gaass and that He gave me a friendship with you. The Spirit has used words that you have spoken to guide me in the ways of righteousness. There are a lot of things that I will hang on to, but the one that always sticks out in my mind is this: dare to dream so big that if you fail, all you have is God, and if you succeed, it is only because of God. I want to live my life that way. You have been a great example of one who dreams big about what God might do.
This campus has been blessed by your faithful service as well. Gaass Hall has become a holy place, and you have been a shining light there. You have a gift of keen insight that has been used by the Lord to guide InterVarsity. If I am ever a pastor, I want you to be a pastor with me. I just learn so darn much from you. Most of all though, you have been an example of unconditional love to parts of our campus that don't receive much love. That is making a difference. God is changing this place.
Wherever you end up next year, know that He will be faithful to use you and to guide you. Let Him be your sustainer and He will prosper you. God's got big plans, my friend, and you are a vital part of them.
Stand firm then, in the grace that has been given you. I am glad to know that no matter where we are at, we are both fighting for the same General. And with Jesus at the helm, Satan doesn't stand a chance.
"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
Your brother in the Lord,