Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

  • Mood:

Rage redux

In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.

Selah

Offer right sacrifices
and trust in the Lord.

—Psalm 4:4-5


Having trouble walking in line with this right now. A lot of trouble. Been a while since I felt this anger.

Didn't sleep well. Headed to Victrola early to try to keep things in check. My rage multiplies faster when I'm alone and brooding, but being out with people opens the door for more of them to get on my nerves, to get in my way, and I've no idea where the end of my fuse is. People should shut the hell up, and failing that, go away. An entirely too-loud little girl, after dropping a glass of water next to me, stomping in it, and being stopped by her father, just cried out, "Daddy, I wanna do what I wanna do!"

I heard, you know. Of course you do.

I could spit venom. Probably need to write it all out where no one can see so it won't fester in me as much. "Trust in the Lord."

Abba, I want to do what I want to do.
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