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Slow start

Moving very slowly this morning, even though it's nearly 10:00. Woke early but decided to grab more sleep, knowing that I have a meeting to brainstorm for a church zine (how cool is that?) later this evening. Made a post office run on the way to work and decided to stop at Vivace, sit down for a cup of coffee, and slow down enough to write a bit.

It's not always about the words. Sometimes it's just about settling in and putting my thoughts, my life somewhere outside my head. For the past couple of days, I keep thinking there's something on my mind that I want to write about, but when I stop to write, it doesn't come out.

Heard USE's "Vamos a la Playa" from the 12" on KEXP yesterday afternoon. I'm sure it's played before, but this was the first time I'd heard it. Made me very happy—they've been rock stars all along.

Did a little thinking in the walk here, though I was distracted by the half-conversation of a woman walking parallel to me across the street as she spoke loudly into the mobile phone attached to her ear (Tangent: will the possibility of quiet for the rest of us be ever marred by the incessant noise of those who cannot bear a moment alone, quiet, and still? For so many these phones are umbilical cords, feeding them a diet of constant chatter and keeping them from ever learning to enjoy the solid food of a deeper reality. Their brains must be mushy and soft. There are so many worse things than being alone—living in a desperate scramble not to be must mean a state of constant underlying fear.). Realized that while I can honestly declare that my life is good, it has been some time since I was abidingly happy. I have trouble imagining it. There are moments of happiness, many of them, but my default mood is weary, distant, and a bit sad.

It's about God, ultimately. Always is. That, and maybe I need to listen to some Al Jarreau.

Comments

I've read (in a magazine, not the most academic source) that people who are late all the time are, like the cell-phone people, afraid of solitude. They overfill their schedules & can't be anywhere on time because they don't want to risk being alone.
That's an interesting hypothesis...
Oops. Um, it could also be that people who are late all the time just don't want to be caught up in American Craziness & would rather live without being ruled by the clock.
What about God makes you sad? Just curious.
When I wrote this entry, I hadn't really been thinking there was something specific about God that made me sad (I can see how it can be read that way, looking back). I was thinking more along the lines that however I feel, wherever I struggle is ultimately about God. Perhaps I should give more thought to the specifics...
what's a church zine?
Here is what zine is. We're going to publish one, which rocks my face.

Re:

I am so out of touch!
hmmm, thanks to you I just learned a new word!

It's about God, ultimately. Always is. That, and maybe I need to listen to some Al Jarreau.


Amen to that! Hi, I noticed you added me to your friends :O) I am adding you back, and i just wanted to let you know that I really like your profile. You seem so cool, and in the Lord! God Bless you, and I look forward to further Camaraderie with you :O)
*Sarah
I moderate joshuaproject and noticed you had joined, so I added you. It will be good to get to know you.
Thank you, I share the same sentiments. God Bless You :O)
how cool... a church zine! that's way punk rock. i wish my church did stuff like that, but we're very conservative.