Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

  • Mood:

The broken day

Today I did not leave my apartment. I did not open my blinds. I did not shower until after 19:00. I accepted three telephone calls, two of which left me discouraged. There are bad days, or at least days when bad things happen, and then there are days we simply handle poorly. Today was entirely the latter.

A blip, I hope—an outlier, an exception to the rule, a setback rather than a change in trajectory. No single cause or trigger of which I am aware; just unleashed brokenness. It's scary to want oblivion, escape, release rather than healing. I wanted everything but God.

Better now, I think. The distance I have to go is farther than I expected, and I have fewer to lean on than I hoped. But there is One, Faithful and True. Perhaps He is removing everything else.
Subscribe

  • Rhythms and revisiting

    Apparently I'm doing some sort of coffee shop tour, if the past couple of mornings are any indication. Caffe Vita isn't an unusual spot for me,…

  • Leaping backward

    So, if the whole deal with leap year is that we get an extra day, why do I feel weeks and months behind at all times? That's clearly much more about…

  • Auld Lang Syne

    Oh, dusty, neglected LiveJournal—I'd love to treat you better in 2012 than I did in 2011. I'm sad that I've recorded so little in a year with so…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 2 comments