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An evening alone

mood: thoughtful thoughtful
Laundry is tumbling dry and I've declined a social invitation for the evening. With work each Sunday, my Saturday evenings are shorter than most. Probably untrue, if I'm honest– I'm unlikely to sleep earlier than any other night. It'd be more true to admit that the prospect of not being able to enter the laughter of my friends sounds harder than an evening alone.

In stories with an ensemble cast, particularly adventures, there's a section in the middle when the characters' paths diverge. Splitting into smaller groups or striking out alone, they often face trials that forge and test character, taking steps that seem separate but often contribute and connect to the larger story. Perhaps this is that season.

Whatever the case, I know I'm not alone. Sometimes that makes it easier.

Posted on May. 31st, 2003 at 07:50 pm | | Communicate | 8 communications |

Comments

coollibrarian

Here's a way out-there question: Do you like keeping people at a distance?
Posted on May. 31st, 2003 09:55 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

dondlion

Of course he does. He tends to be cautious. He has his reasons. He's a great guy who loves Star Trek.
Posted on May. 31st, 2003 11:54 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

banzai

Valid question.

I like connecting with people. When that's not happening, I'd often prefer not to be with others. Being with people but not connecting is painful.

I feel like I have written about this a great deal in my journal, but perhaps it's not coming through well. That wouldn't surprise me, but neither is there much I can do about that. It's just another disconnect.

Sometimes what I like is relevant. Sometimes it is not.
Posted on Jun. 1st, 2003 08:33 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

itspoetry

i can't claim to understand you, but sometimes i think i get what you're saying. word.
Posted on Jun. 1st, 2003 01:09 am (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

banzai

Thank you. Word indeed.
Posted on Jun. 1st, 2003 08:37 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

april_showers

That's exactly it- sometimes we just don't move in a crowd of people, and in those times we need to relax and do what God has for us to do at that time. Sometimes it's hard, though life is hard when there's a big group of you, you just notice it less. And it is in those times that God will shape your character. But don't isolate yourself completely- do your friends know you're finding it hard at the moment? They are there to share times like this with you, to lessen the burden.
Posted on Jun. 1st, 2003 07:45 am (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

banzai

But don't isolate yourself completely- do your friends know you're finding it hard at the moment? They are there to share times like this with you, to lessen the burden.

They do, as makes sense for their closeness to me. It's a confusing time, and I'm neither in a position nor able to do much explaining. That limits how nurturing my friendships can be. Those who understand, do. The others do what they are able to do.
Posted on Jun. 1st, 2003 08:44 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

ex_lunasparr180

There are inward and outward seasons, for sure. In my last inward season I got much closer to God and it prepared me to make better friends in my next outward season.
Posted on Jun. 1st, 2003 05:16 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply