Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Moments in between

If you make a god out of your best moments, you will find that God will fade out of your life, never to return until you are obedient in the work He has placed closest to you, and until you have learned not to be obsessed with those exceptional moments He has given you.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (25 April, "Ready in Season")

Settling in for a cup of tea at Chazen (the teahouse formerly known as Blue Willow). Some mobility from the office while I work always feels exceptionally freeing. Need to rework more of my job in this vein, so that I may serve with vigor instead of teetering on the edge of burnout.

Selected a Merlot for tonight's staff dinner. A friend suggests that you can't go wrong with a Merlot. Almost entirely true, but there may be a few exceptions. As the old Gallo saying advises, serve no wine before it's time. Today I learned that a wine must have enough of a center to withstand some aging. That sounds about right.

My journal is fuzzy because my mind is fuzzy; my thoughts read as disconnected because they are. It's not smooth, but it's accurate. I'm not slowing down even when I slow down. Trying to start having Fridays and Saturdays off, which may help. Help is relative, however– I suspect (and am not alone in doing so) that I am setting this pace for myself. Immersing myself in work and sleeping poorly are part of an old pattern. We all find our ways to cope. Or to avoid.

I long to feel the breeze that has stirred outside. Today's sun has receded into grey.

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