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Faithful or fool?

If it is for this life only that Christ has given us hope, we of all men are most to be pitied.

–I Corinthians 15:19


This has been one of those days when trying to be faithful has cost me something. Is that what Jesus wanted? Will it make a difference? I have to trust that the economy of the Kingdom is different than my own, hope that my actions were born of devotion rather than pride. I wish I were sure. I don't doubt Him, not for a moment. Yet I feel like a fool and wonder if I've risked based on my ego instead of at His leading.

The line between being a fool and being abandoned to God is blurry at its best, and sometimes seems non-existent. Indeed, sometimes it is. The knot in my gut over today will pass. Perhaps it already is.

Comments

This is a day that I wish I could have been a fool for Christ. Trust me, the knot in the stomach twists more vigorously when you don't obey....
Yeah, that's a hard one often isn't it?

http://www.switchfoot.com

Your post reminded me of this Switchfoot song for some reason...

The Economy of Mercy
There's just two ways to lose yourself in this life
And neither way is safe
In my dreams I see visions of the future
But today we have today
And where will I find You?

In the economy of mercy
I am a poor and begging man
In the currency of grace
Is where my song begins
In the colors of Your goodness
In the scars that mark Your skin
In the currency of grace is where my song begins

These carbon shells
These fragile dusty frames
We are bruised and broken masterpieces
But we did not paint ourselves
And where will I find You?

Where was I when the world was made?
Where was I?

I'm lost without You here
Yes, I'm lot without you near me
I'm lost without You here
You knew my name when the world was made